Dear Anika,
Today is your first birthday! I have tried as hard as I could to experience this first year of your life without blinking. As your mama, I live my life now with the excited anticipation of all the new things that Da-da and I will be teaching you over the years, but truly you have taught me more than I could ever have anticipated in the past year. When I married your Da-da, I thought for sure I knew who I was. But then Da-da showed me more of the beauty within myself that I could never unearth on my own. And you, dear Anika, have done the same. You are turning me into the best Mama I could ever hope to be to you.
From the moment that I touched your velvety soft skin, and breathed in that intoxicatingly heavenly newborn scent, I knew that I would lay down my life without even flinching for you. You have opened up a new world to me. You’ve shown me that the most profound expressions of love can be found at 3 am, as I nurse you yet again, your sweaty hair plastered to your head, your left leg swung up over my hip as you let out a contented snort. How quickly I could have missed those moments if I hadn’t opened my heart to it! One of the most important things I could ever hope to teach you about is the love that God has for you. It’s a love that runs so deep, and is so life changing. It’s a lot like the love that Da-da and I have for you, except much, much bigger.
I’ve loved learning your language, trying to decipher what every coo and babble means, and helping to find equilibrium when your laughing turns to crying. I love the intensity with which you communicate your world to me. When you let us know in no uncertain terms that there is something wrong, I see glimpses of the future when I have no doubt that you will stand up for what’s right with the same unmatched intensity I see in you now in those moments.
I look at you now, as the look of a newborn has faded and is being replaced by that of a little girl. And oh, how you are such a sweet and precious little girl to Da-da. You have effectively turned your once stoic father into a babbling, gushing puddle of mush, who would lasso the moon for you the first chance he gets. I don’t doubt that he hasn’t tried while you sleep. Some of my fondest memories are of when you were just a fresh little baby, watching as Da-da danced you to sleep to the music of Frank Sinatra. You don’t realize quite yet how lucky you are to have such a wonderful father, but you will soon enough. We’ve rejoiced over all the milestones you’ve hit this year, and have discovered that you’ve taught us, yet again, another lesson that we were too oblivious to learn fully on our own. And that is that the best way to spend our time is by putting all of our energy into the present moment. That moment, dear Anika, is your moment today, on your birthday. I’ve recorded it here in this letter as my humble gift to you, for you to read and treasure in the years to come. But please know that you are truly the gift. I love you to the moon and back.
Today is your first birthday! I have tried as hard as I could to experience this first year of your life without blinking. As your mama, I live my life now with the excited anticipation of all the new things that Da-da and I will be teaching you over the years, but truly you have taught me more than I could ever have anticipated in the past year. When I married your Da-da, I thought for sure I knew who I was. But then Da-da showed me more of the beauty within myself that I could never unearth on my own. And you, dear Anika, have done the same. You are turning me into the best Mama I could ever hope to be to you.
From the moment that I touched your velvety soft skin, and breathed in that intoxicatingly heavenly newborn scent, I knew that I would lay down my life without even flinching for you. You have opened up a new world to me. You’ve shown me that the most profound expressions of love can be found at 3 am, as I nurse you yet again, your sweaty hair plastered to your head, your left leg swung up over my hip as you let out a contented snort. How quickly I could have missed those moments if I hadn’t opened my heart to it! One of the most important things I could ever hope to teach you about is the love that God has for you. It’s a love that runs so deep, and is so life changing. It’s a lot like the love that Da-da and I have for you, except much, much bigger.
I’ve loved learning your language, trying to decipher what every coo and babble means, and helping to find equilibrium when your laughing turns to crying. I love the intensity with which you communicate your world to me. When you let us know in no uncertain terms that there is something wrong, I see glimpses of the future when I have no doubt that you will stand up for what’s right with the same unmatched intensity I see in you now in those moments.
I look at you now, as the look of a newborn has faded and is being replaced by that of a little girl. And oh, how you are such a sweet and precious little girl to Da-da. You have effectively turned your once stoic father into a babbling, gushing puddle of mush, who would lasso the moon for you the first chance he gets. I don’t doubt that he hasn’t tried while you sleep. Some of my fondest memories are of when you were just a fresh little baby, watching as Da-da danced you to sleep to the music of Frank Sinatra. You don’t realize quite yet how lucky you are to have such a wonderful father, but you will soon enough. We’ve rejoiced over all the milestones you’ve hit this year, and have discovered that you’ve taught us, yet again, another lesson that we were too oblivious to learn fully on our own. And that is that the best way to spend our time is by putting all of our energy into the present moment. That moment, dear Anika, is your moment today, on your birthday. I’ve recorded it here in this letter as my humble gift to you, for you to read and treasure in the years to come. But please know that you are truly the gift. I love you to the moon and back.
Love,
Mama
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